Martians Among Us
In 1980, a man named Dennis Hope walked into the local US property registrar in San Francisco, and made the largest property claim in the history of the US Government. Hope claimed to be the rightful owner of the entire surface of the moon, mars, and every celestial body in our solar system.
After pleading his case with three supervisors for over five hours, Dennis Hope's outlandish claim was approved. His rationale? A clever exploitation of a loophole within the 1967 Outer Space Treaty, which stated that "no nation can assert sovereignty over the moon." While this international agreement aimed to thwart any celestial land grab during the space race, Hope cunningly pointed out its oversight: while the treaty barred nations from staking claims on the moon, it failed to extend the same prohibition to private citizens.
With his approval in hand, Hope promptly submitted a bold declaration to the United Nations, asserting his ownership over nearly every planet and moon in our solar system. Astonishingly, his claim remained unchallenged for a whole year. Neither the US government, Russian government, or the United Nations wasted their time with an objection. In the absence of any challenge, his claim was deemed uncontested.
This lack of opposition enabled Mr. Hope to progress to the next stage, where he registered his work with the US Copyright Office. Armed with his claim and copyright registration certificate from the US Government, Hope received another pivotal win in 2004. He formed his own democratic galactic government for the protection of extraterrestrial landowners - ones he had sold millions of acres to. It was ratified and approved by the US Government and signed by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. In that, Mr. Hope claims he became the most extensive landowner on the planet.
Over the ensuing years, Hope has somehow amassed a considerable fortune by subdividing his land and selling plots on the moon and various other celestial entities, tallying an estimated $12 million to date. A standard acre on the moon or Mars starts at about $34.99 - or more for a coveted acre with a view. Currently a plot near the Apollo 11 landing site runs for several hundred dollars. Pluto, in its entirety, can be purchased for $250,000.
I learned about this exciting investment opportunity back in 2018, and I wasted little time purchasing an acre overlooking a crater field (location is everything). My deed arrived in the mail, signed by Dennis Hope, with the lunar coordinates of my plot. Accompanying the deed included the lunar codes, covenants, restrictions, and mineral rights.
I recalled my purchase to Katie a few weeks later, during a discussion about finances. It was apparently the wrong time to share this.
I reasoned with her that it is the cheapest we will ever buy a piece of property. She responded that it’s the costliest we’ll ever pay for a piece of paper. She supports me a lot. She’s adamantly never supported me in this.
Later that year, when doing our taxes, I was prompted to report property investments. I rifled through my tax and financial documents in my “important pieces of paper” box without any luck locating the deed, so I asked Katie for help.
“Wouldn’t it be easier to write, ‘please audit me’?” she responded.
I never found the deed again.
I’ve found that most roadside attraction enthusiasts love space. It makes sense really. Once you’ve been mesmerized by the World’s Largest Frying Pan on Earth, you can’t help but imagine what else is out there - and how big their frying pans are.
Countless roadside attractions are about space. From the various mystery holes, to UFO jerky, to Roswell museums, space-themed attractions are everywhere.
We consume space attractions, and secretly fantasize about what a road trip through space would look like - and how to advertise “World’s largest black hole” without getting too close. Or, “Abraham Lincoln-shaped astroid ahead.” Recently, NASA even adopted similar branding for their “Expedition 66” - which re-branded the infamous Route 66 highway sign for their 66th trip to the International Space Station.
Few space-themed roadside attractions beg to be taken seriously, but one lesser-known site in Southern Utah has slowly crossed that divide, inching closer to reality. This, of course, is the Mars Desert Research Station (MDRS).
I finally got the opportunity to visit the MDRS during a road trip across Utah in 2021. Nestled halfway between Canyonlands National Park and Capitol Reef National Park lies the unassuming town of Hanksville. In Utah's otherworldly landscape, where bizarre natural formations abound from salt flats to crater hot springs, standing out is no easy feat. Yet, this small, relatively obscure town of 200 residents manages to do just that. While the natural wonders surrounding it are plentiful, Hanksville punches above its weight when it comes to roadside attractions.
Carl’s critter Garden is one of the first things you pass right off the road. On a roadtrip void of habitation for miles, an eclectic, Buddhist-inspired and dinosaur-themed art installation (with a mix of space for good measure) is hard to miss. The peace-themed, metalworking yard art wears many hats, but above all it shares a simple message: “spread a love for dinosaurs, not war”.
Just half a mile down the road, sits Hollow Mountain—a convenience store and gas station quite literally carved into a colossal rock formation. Visitors are forced to walk inside the rock itself, a feat that required 2.5 tons of dynamite to carve out back in 1984. As the years passed, the store's popularity grew, prompting its owners to expand further—not by adding onto the structure, but by carving out more rock to meet demand.
Swingarm City, located just a few miles West of town, is considered one of the most prominent natural motorbike playgrounds in the world. Rocks towering hundreds of feet in the air are shaped almost identical to halfpipes. Ridges climbing hundreds of feet in elevation zig zag through the desert. I traversed some of the lower ridges on foot, and couldn't imagine balancing a bike. It is truly for the best riders in the world.
Yet, it's the unassuming turnoff on Highway 100, labeled Cow Dung Road, that truly steals the show. The term "road" takes on a progressively abstract meaning with each mile covered, transitioning swiftly from asphalt to gravel, and then to dirt. Five miles into the journey, the path dwindles to little more than ATV tracks on red, barren rock. Just when it seems like civilization has been left behind, a striking sight emerges in the distance: a white, two-story cylindrical dome, with a sign proudly proclaiming "Welcome to Mars."
Amelia already has her “space helmet” on
Since 2001, the Mars Desert Research Station has been nestled in this remote setting off Cow Dung Road, serving a singular purpose: to explore the most effective strategies for the eventual colonization of Mars. The site is managed by The Mars Society, and its mission is clear—to advance the cause of what they perceive is the inevitable colonization of the Red Planet.
This forgotten region of Utah serves as a Mars simulation site for one of two analog research stations operated by The Mars Society. While the satellite campus in the arctic simulates the extreme conditions, this one simulates controlled ones - allowing year-round geographical and social research. It’s one of only a few research sites worldwide where researchers conduct equipment testing, astronaut training, and seek insights to advance the quest for extraterrestrial life.
Their founder, Dr. Robert Zubrin, is sincere in his pursuit. In a recent interview I stumbled across, Dr. Zubrin described the movie “The Martian” as the most realistic science fiction movie ever made - with two exceptions. 1) The sandstorm featured in the movie was far too powerful and 2) Matt Damon’s character “would have been way more excited to be on Mars.”
The cylindrical dome that greeted us is one of six buildings making up the campus. At any given moment, seven scientists and astronauts live in this observatory, studying what it would take to colonize the red planet, and simulating the venture as if they were already there . Their simulations are serious. Crews live in complete isolation, growing food in artificial light, passing through air pressurization chambers, and driving solar powered ATVs for field research. Outside, they collect soil samples, launch weather balloons, measure radiation, and more - all while wearing space suits.
Tunnels from the habitat connect to two robotic telescope observatories and a “greenhab”, which features aquaponic growing systems, and various crops that can survive with limited light. An additional geodesic dome houses a control system that monitors the campuses entire solar grid, which can be access via above ground tunnels for researchers to easily traverse using “depressurized chambers” without their space suits.
The immediate vicinity of the campus is desolate. Scientists aren’t just expected to pretend like they are on Mars - they are to believe they are on Mars. The relative isolation makes them completely reliant on their built environment. A practice, that in the “entrepreneurial space race”, will make them even more self-reliant.
The Mars Society claims that in a harsh climate like Mars, where light is half as bright as earth, colonizer’s top export will be invention, rather than natural resources. Life at the MDRS is as much a logistic experiment as it is an engineering one. In a world where having the proper wrench could be the difference between life or death, the MDRS believes lessons learned here will pay dividends in the future.
While the MDRS is on private property, the surrounding area is vast and primed for exploration. We wasted little time picking our own landing spot, and in a matter of minutes, we had launched our own simulation. My daughter’s stroller was a space pod, crash landing in a field of red, bubbly mounds. We ran up and down the landscape as blood-thirsty martians.
The scenery was captivating, with mushroom-shaped rocks scattered across the landscape. Smooth, symmetrical domes protruded from the earth, adorned with rings of varying colors, reminiscent of Easter eggs dipped in multiple layers of dye. The ground had a hardened crust, that when stepped on, left a perfect shoe print, like the footsteps would be preserved for eternity.
View from Google earth
When the research center opened up twenty-three years ago, it was representative of a dream. With frustrating timelines, that still don’t have people on Mars for at least another decade from now, the 2001 habitat served as beacon of hope for visionaries. Now, there’s no shortage of people trying to get on board.
The astronauts that make up the MDRS are highly coveted and representative of dozens of countries across the world. With only room to accommodate about 15 crews annually, hundreds of scientists, students, and hopeful astronauts are turned away.
I imagined the lunar plot I bought years earlier, wishing I had splurged for the Mars acre while jumping from one martian mound to the next - and scheming my way to join the crew inside.
As luck would have it, I was able to find the application online, and it was accepting scientists at the time. I decided to take a different approach toward my application, knowing it would take an outside chance for even a second look.
I argued that any true colonization of the red planet, especially under cataclysmic circumstances, would require inclusion of any “average Joe” who ends up in their pod.
The addition of an unprepared, and certainly unqualified, crew member - to step in for the role of biologist, crew chief, or commander, would provide some of the greatest data collection imaginable regarding group social dynamics in a confined setting. Anyone can simulate the colonization of Mars in a controlled environment, but no true experiment would be complete without an unknown factor.
Armed with a plethora of knowledge related to roadside attractions, I explained any colonization of Mars would feature far more novelty architecture if I was present. I shared my experience visiting the site from afar, and how I was almost too distracted by Carl’s Critter Garden to make it there. When prompted to provide my credentials, I touted my CPR certification. When asked about my experience working in analog research stations in extreme conditions, I recounted my experience working in a toxic office environment.
In short, I was myself. I emphasized my knack for being a quick learner while downplaying the relevance of aviation, radio, chemistry, biology, physics, horticulture, geology, geophysics, biology, and meteorology (all actual questions on the application).
A week after submitting my application, I pondered if it was my “anyone can simulate the colonization of Mars” comment or somethign else I said when I learned something fascinating - almost all new crew members are women.
In a world where it will cost more than $300 in fuel alone to send an apple to space, smaller people breathing less air, eating less food, and taking up less space are the most coveted astronauts around.
And while men will almost certainly join some missions, it does bring a heart -wrenching twist of reality to one of the cruelest schoolyard phrases I ever heard growing up, “girls go to Mars, to get more candy bars. Boys go to Jupiter to get…”, you get it.
While I still await my response, more crews continue their simulation every day. As humanity prepares for more frequent space travel, the rules that govern it are increasingly becoming a focal point of interest. From mining endeavors to scientific exploration, a diverse array of purposes drive this renewed public and private fascination with our celestial neighbors. However, as these endeavors unfold, the discussions surrounding space ownership are poised to evolve into increasingly intricate and contentious debates.
Even if you don't believe Dennis Hope is the true owner of our solar system - and you wouldn’t be alone, his mere success in asserting so sheds gaping holes on how well existing treaties can keep things in check. Property claims will only intensify, and it’s all possible to divulge into a land grab reminiscent of the wild west. Where any average Joe could walk into a galactic government office and assert themselves ruler of the universe - or at least Jupiter.
And if their claim is ever successful, there will be one man who has something to say about it.
Pushing my daughter’s space capsule on Mars
Locations mentioned:
Mars Desert Research Center | 38.4064, -110.79151
Swingarm City | 38.36535, -110.9148
Carl’s Critter Garden | 38.37447, -110.71131
Hollow Mountain | 38.37351, -110.70504
